Friday, December 18, 2009

Were you...

...watching Avatar last night at 12:01 am at the IMAX 3-D theater?

Didn't think so.

You should have been. (Unless, of course, you sleep at night.)


That's just what I heard anyway.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Cute I am [part 2]

The next day, Halloween, I wanted to go to my quilting store to get fabric for the binding of the quilt that I was working on. They were having a 15% off Halloween sale, BUT if you came in costume, they’d give you 20% off. Although I intended to dress up, things got crazy and we decided to simply slip E in his Yoda costume when we got there. We planned to claim that it was, in fact, Yoda who needed to get some things at the quilting store.

While B changed E into his costume, I headed in to look for a good fabric. Every now and then, I’d hear the chime on the door indicating that someone had just entered the store. After about 15 minutes, I heard E make is grand entrance. The commotion was unmistakably caused by E. The clucking of all the ladies in the quilting store was practically on the level of a “roar.” And it just would not stop. So eventually, I peeked around the rack. There were B and E surrounded by every other person in the store. I’m not kidding when I say that B looked like Rafiki from the Lion King, proudly presenting young Simba to the masses.

E charms wherever he goes. He seems to eat it up as much as the throngs. Even the blind man in front of us at the post office yesterday was in love with him. But E’s charming powers in a quilting store are on another level entirely. And E in a quilting store dressed like Yoda… We could have robbed the place.

In the end though, they robbed us—as usual. Even with Yoda’s 20% discount.

Cute I am [part 1]


How could I pass this up? No, this was not E’s “official Halloween costume” (meaning: the one he wore on Halloween). Luckily, we attended a party on October 30 with my workout girlfriends & families. Costumes were mandatory for all—which is the best kind of Halloween party. Unfortunately, our official costumes were not ready in time for that party—specifically E’s costume was not yet finished (sewing is freaking hard and I hadn’t allowed enough time), so thirty minutes before leaving for the event, we made an executive decision to switch into one of our old tried and true costumes and put E in the “extra” costume I happened to have for him.

Ok, truth be told, in my opinion, that last sentence should begin with “fortunately.” E is such a striking Yoda. I wanted to show him off so badly. Simultaneously, I was a bit … apprehensive about showing B off in his intended costume. So, really, being behind schedule with E’s official Halloween costume was no tragedy.

At the party there was a costume contest—one for adults and one for children. I was holding Yoda when the ballots were distributed so B was our scribe. I leaned over to tell him my choice for the children: two girls dressed in pink and green; I’m not sure what they were exactly, but they sure looked cute. However, B had already written “Yoda” on both ballots. Doesn’t he know the “don’t vote for yourself [or your kid]” rule? So, E got two votes from his parents. Perhaps that would have been enough to win. But, to be sure, B carried him throughout the rooms of the house as people filled in their ballots.

When the results were tallied, our suspicions that E is in fact the cutest kid were confirmed. His first opportunity to prove to all that he’s the best and he nailed it! Not that we needed this validation…

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A Raisin in the Sun

Yes, my dream of becoming a seamstress is a dream deferred.

It only took five weeks, probably seven actual sit-down encounters, and one actual “project” [the quilt] for me to completely break the machine. Apparently twelve layers of flannel is too much. T was incredulous when I told her what I had been doing: “Twelve layers!?!?! Why on earth were you doing that? Of course you broke the machine.”

The sad thing was that the blanket was ALMOST finished. I literally had only two seams left—I needed to simply attach the top and bottom border pieces. This is a flannel blanket that continually adds more layers of flannel to its seams… Two pieces of flannel to sew together? No problem. Then, four, …then many more. Finally, twelve.

Now, I didn’t buy a piece of trash machine to begin with. It’s a Bernina. That’s supposed to mean something. I was very happy to buy a Bernina. I like the white machines/cases with red writing—like an inverted Swiss flag. I like thinking about all the metal pieces inside, arranged by Swiss minds, which we know work like clocks. I like that the company is still family owned back in Switzerland. I like the people who use Bernina’s and the things they make. But most of all, I wanted to be able to know where to go if there was a problem. I wanted to be able to get help from an authorized Bernina fix-it guy named “Kurt” when the machine was on the fritz.

The ladies at the shop were so apologetic. I can have all my money back, Kurt will fix it for free, or I can “upgrade” to a better exponentially more expensive machine.

Hmmm….I need time to think about this. Considering that the first machine so quickly threw in the towel, "upgrading" seems a bit of a turn off. I plan to sew the final two seams of my project at the store on an "upgrade" machine. If it can handle it, maybe I'll take it. One thing I know: I could break a machine every month and head in there only to hear that there is a better machine twice as expensive as the one I have that I should upgrade to.

10 Things We Learned on Halloween 2009


1. Good Halloween costumes take a year to put together—not a month. (I blame the short notice on B. Although I suggested our costumes over a year ago, I had decided that it would be much easier to wear a previous year’s costumes—after all, we’re in a new place. This is how E came to have a Yoda costume. Just three weeks before Halloween, B is shocked to learn that we will not be sporting a three-man theme… He wants Labyrinth like we talked about last year… sure… no problem)



2. Despite your best efforts to match David Bowie’s “Dance Magic” scene costume from Labyrinth, 98% of people will think you are Rod Stewart.



3. Even as a trio, I am not aware of anyone who recognized who we were pretending to be. When we told the people sitting next to us who we were they replied, “Oh yeah. We watched that movie last night.” Last night???? We obviously failed…



4. B needed gray stretch pants for his costume. We now know that if B ever needs stretch pants again, Gap Body XS women’s knit pajama pants become stretch pants in “his size.” (I hope they still fit me after he’s worn them…)



5. Fabric stores don’t sell red/white striped knit fabric—but Goodwill does. However, it comes already sewn as a woman’s shirt, which, when harvested, will not yield enough fabric for the entire infant pajama—specifically, you will be one sleeve short. So you will have to go back to Goodwill, to find a plain red knit men’s shirt that is the matching color of red, rip off the finished sleeve, and add the red. As long as you insert a cute baby, this will likely still be the best costume of the trio.



6. There are lots of Tina Turner wigs being manufactured. What I’d like to know is who is dressing up as Tina Turner? Although “Tina Turner” wigs are being produced en masse, the people who sell them on ebay call them “Tina Turner/David Bowie Labyrinth” wigs. They know who’s buying and why. Note to wig makers: there’s a [relatively] huge market out there for authentic “David Bowie Labyrinth” wigs. And, by the way, Tina Turner does NOT have the same hairdo as David Bowie. Give the people what they want!



7. It’s time for L’s wardrobe to be updated. L’s “80s” Jennifer-Connelly-Labyrinth-matching outfit consisted of a vest purchased at Goodwill and…clothes she already owned. Sad, really.



8. Monkey bread is a vice. Not only did we consume more of it at party #1 than anyone else there, we continued to eat it the next day, and the next…all before bringing it in from the car…



9. When you have forty varieties of chili to choose from, some people will still only eat the same chili they’ve been eating for twenty years. Wish I had tried it.



10. We’re glad we chose the costumes we did. Not everyone gets the chance to be a trio that consists of a baby boy who loves being thrown in the air and a skinny guy who is willing [read: wanting] to wear stretch pants and a wig [no make-up]. We’d have regretted not taking advantage of such a perfect once in a lifetime opportunity.



Sunday, October 18, 2009

Remedial Driver's Ed

Everyone should be so lucky.

If you want to know how B came to be relieved of his driver’s license, there is a timeline of events as an explanation provided in the previous post. After a two-and-a-half hour stint at the DMV (how on earth did there happen to be nearly 70 people in front of him in line in the middle of a weekday afternoon), B, having passed the written test, emerged with a brand new learner’s permit and an appointment for his driving test in a week and a half’s time.

Between now and the driving test, B may legally drive only with a licensed 21-year-old driver next to him. Additionally, he must clock at least 6 hours of driving in this manner before driving test time. I will provide him with a letter, signature, and record of his driving sessions.

Additionally, I’m providing him with some free driving instruction, although he is proving to be a most unwilling and unruly pupil. Perhaps it’s not the age of teenagers that make them difficult to deal with at times. Maybe it’s the learner’s permit. Look what it’s done to my sweetheart. Suddenly so stubborn and brooding in the car. Oh well, I’m sure it’s just a phase.

(And yes, he’s driving illegally right now. I’m not taking him to work each day. Sheesh!)

A Call for Class Action

B was in DC last week for work stuff. Because his work ended there on Thursday, he decided to book a nighttime flight home, so that he could have a sweet three-day weekend, rather than spend Friday traveling. So, the intended itinerary consisted of a flight from DC to St. Paul, and then from St. Paul to CS, arriving home around 1AM. Here’s how things actually occurred:

1. Delay in DC for two-and-a-half hours.
2. In DC the airline promises to pay for a hotel in St. Paul if he misses his flight.
3. In St. Paul, flight missed, airline refuses to pay for hotel (the last 30 minutes of the delay were due to “weather” which isn’t their fault…)
4. Airline gives him a “discount” at the Holiday Inn Express.
5. Call HIE, shuttle is at the airport, will wait the two minutes it takes B to get to the pick up place.
6. Has already left.
7. B’s cell phone is dead. Charger in checked bag—anyone’s guess where.
8. Uses 50 cents to call hotel. Told shuttle will return in 25 minutes.
9. An hour later, calls hotel again. Apparently shuttle stopped running at midnight (when B called last).
10. Takes a taxi to hotel.
11. Hotel clerk assures B that the shuttle WAS at the airport when B was supposed to catch it…
12. Non smoking room is clearly a smoking room.
13. Complains and is told it is simply a smoky hallway.
14. Checks again—it’s definitely the room.
15. Asks for another and gets the room under the boiler.
16. Goes to sleep at 3:30AM.
17. Wake up call at 4:30AM.
18. Shuttle scheduled for 5 AM departure left ten minutes early.
19. Hotel kindly provides a taxi.
20. Waits in Delta line. Told to go to AA.
21. Waits in AA “blob”. Told to go to Delta.
22. Waits at Delta. Sent back to AA.
23. Waits in AA blob. Finally ready for security.
24. In security line, realizes he suddenly has no license.
25. Back to AA. Back to Delta. Back to AA. Back to Delta.
26. No one has it.
27. Tears stuff apart looking for it. Thank goodness he has a military base id for work.
28. Only makes his flight because it is delayed over an hour. Told he will miss his connection in Dallas.
29. Races through the airport in Dallas. Makes flight.
30. Arrives in CS at noon.
31. No bags (hasn’t seen those since yesterday).
32. Spends the first day of his hoped three-day weekend traveling and waiting at the DMV—all on one hour of sleep.

Have a worse travel story? I’m hoping we don’t have one in our near future… I spent 2 hours on the phone the day B was trying to get home from DC trying to get our Thanksgiving tickets fixed. Tickets we bought in July. Why do airlines get to sell you a certain flight time and then change it any way they like? I purchased a late afternoon non-stop flight. Then they email me that it has been changed to early morning with a layover in Philadelphia! I can’t catch an early morning flight in Denver (which is why I booked the time I booked!) and I’m not willing to change planes, which is why I paid for a non-stop. I think they should have to provide the flights they sell tickets for, even if they must take a loss. They should have to consider that in their schedule planning, instead of writing schedules that they have no intention of flying. Or, if they must make a change, it must be reasonable in timing (not 11 hours different) and like in kind (non-stop for non-stop), or they should compensate you. Not with the price of the ticket you paid for, since that money will no longer buy you a like ticket. Enough to purchase a comparable ticket NOW. Aren’t these reservations like contracts? It’s not like I can just not pay them. Why do they get to get away with this? How is one supposed to plan travel?

Anyway, after an hour I convinced them to give me a ticket at an appropriate time. However I must change planes. But I refused to take any of the itineraries with changes in DC, Philadelphia, Charlotte, etc. I wanted something on the way with a short layover. Nothing in my “class”? Give me a supervisor. And another. You WILL give me this ticket. And they did. But my updated itinerary had my return flight completely wrong! Suddenly I was returning the same day I arrived, and from the wrong place. Another hour. Another supervisor.

There were even more problems that came up, but I’m tired of talking about it. And the more I think about it, the more sure I am that we will not make it to our Thanksgiving destination without more serious headaches.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Tailor, Motl Kanzoil

Sewing is crazy hard. First, it takes forever to get ready to sew. Then, it doesn’t even look good for all that time and attention you put into it. Here are some of my recent forays:

Project 1: Altered pajama pants.
I have a pair of pink scrubs. I rarely wear them because they are too big. So, my first project was to hem them. However, once pinned, I realized that they are too big everywhere and that if I hemmed them, the crotch would seem ridiculously low. What to do? Well, I decided that before I hemmed them, I should get rid of some extra fabric up top. So, in a horizontal manner, I cut off the drawstring part. Next, I cut out a couple inches of fabric (also in a horizontal manner). Then I reattached the drawstring “circle” that I cut off to begin with, using very visible exterior stitching twice around, and TA DA! If this sounds like it was a bad idea, please picture the pink pants sewn with bright yellow and green thread (bobbin and spool, respectively). They look like Frankenstein’s pajama pants, but along with the subsequent hemming, the pants are finally fitting as I always dreamed! Success! (As a side note, there’s a whole lot more alterations yet to come. B and I have picked up the pieces for our Halloween costumes at Goodwill and most need some sort of “tailoring.” Now that I have a sewing machine, this sort of thing should be no problem…)
Lesson 1: Use matching thread.

Project 2: Taggies blanket.
This project was saved by a consultation with our resident grand master tailor, B. I explained what it was and how I thought best to proceed. (Pin these here and this like this, etc.) B said my method was all wrong and introduced me to sewing right sides together, leaving a hole, and turning it inside out. Genius. This was a little difficult since the tags of the taggies blanket are then on the inside of this fabric pita and I can’t see how long they are or whether they are straight. But, it turned out perfect (although B says not to make one as a gift for the baby shower I’m attending next weekend…humph....)
Lesson 2: Sewing is counterintuitive.

Project 3: Panel curtains.
There’s a long, narrow window in our entry way that has needed a covering since we got here. It’s very long and I can’t find regular curtains or blinds to cover it. Not to mention that I have hated buying curtains and curtain rods for all the windows in our house. We aren’t even staying here, so it seems like such a waste of money. But the windows must be covered. So, I bought some clearance fabric. With it I made a single long panel. I sewed (hemmed?) each side—so far, ok. Then I sewed the top with an opening for the rod to slip through. Only, the opening was too small. Since I have no seam ripper, I simply made the bottom the top, leaving ample room for the rod. Now my curtain is about an inch too short. But worse is the way it leans to one side. I had the right size to begin with, but I pin and sew “by eye”, so either the top or bottom did not end up using the same amount of fabric when I folded it over from right to left.
Lesson 3: Measure 462 times, sew once.

Project 4: Baby pajamas.
After the projects mentioned above, I feel it is time to take on a patterned project now—a project with more than two pieces of fabric and with its own set of directions. So, I have purchased a pattern to make some baby pjs. This sounds like an easy project (and a necessary one since E needs a certain pair of pjs for his Halloween costume), but unfortunately I can’t understand one word or illustration in the entire thing.
Lesson 4: You are out way of your league. Contact a lady at church and ask her to teach you how to sew this pattern. (Said lady does not yet know [and will probably not like the fact] that you are using/harvesting the fabric from a shirt you bought at Goodwill to make the pjs [it was the PERFECT material—seriously, I checked fabric stores with no luck] or the fact that you have a freakishly long baby who will need the pattern to be altered by a couple inches.)


Next up are the myriad of alterations for our Halloween costumes, which will occupy my time over the next two weeks, IN ADDITION TO the fabulous quilting class I’m taking in a week and a half!!!!!!! I almost can’t sleep I’m so excited! Then it’s time for Christmas stockings, although I am still contemplating the wisdom of postponing the creation of heirloom stockings until I have a bit more experience behind me.
It is freaking cold here. Snow and ice storms for the last week. It looks like a different planet. Plants covered in ice crystals look quite alien.

The caldera is active. While all the roads are icy, half of the street area right in front of our house is a thick slab of ice under which we can see moving water, the other half has no ice and steams constantly.

But this week there has been some city activity in front of our house and I got word today that tomorrow they will fix the “underground leak”. This means there will be no water from 7AM till 4:30PM. Plus, I will not have access to my garage. I’m just amazed that they claim it will only take one day.

Brave Little Tailor

The decision to buy a sewing machine was not hard. Deciding which sewing machine to buy was a bit harder. But before I even started sewing, I began to have second thoughts.

I am taking a class on how to use my machine—to sew, as it were. I won’t make anything; I’ll just get to practice running the machine and trying all the features. So, I have also signed up for a class to MAKE something. This will give me the opportunity to actually have practical sewing experience with guidance/help. I looked at the classes offered at three stores and picked the project that most interested me (while still being “beginner” level). I’m not into sewing holiday coasters or tissue box covers. I will be making a small quilt. Do we need another blanket? No. Seriously. We either need to move to Alaska, have 30 children, or begin our own not-for-profit charity outfit supplying blankets to the cold of this world.

But, like I said, I didn’t want any of the other projects. This blanket will be oh so cute. Originally I thought of making it (for the experience/instruction) and then giving it to my sister, since I like her best and I can’t see myself being able to part with something I worked so hard on to anyone I like less. But, as I pawed through the assembled fabric bundles I noticed that they cost more than I have ever paid for already-sewn-bedding. I don’t even need this quilt or want it—except when compared to the other class offerings. This isn’t even a big quilt. Just a throw. I was quite shocked and distraught at the price. Now I won’t be giving this blanket to anyone. Is this what it costs to sew? I hoped to find a hobby I loved in sewing, but after seeing the costs, it appeared as though I wouldn’t be able to afford this hobby.

When I told B the cost of the fabric, he was surprised, but instead of sharing my concern (that it is WAY too expensive) his concern was that we perhaps had not paid ENOUGH for the machine, since it appears that the machine will be a small percent of my projects over the years.

While complaining to an acquaintance about the cost of fabric, she offered the suggestion to buy at Walmart. But I won’t hear of it. I come from a family of quilters. And although I don’t even know how to sew yet, I do know that I must not buy fabric from Walmart or Joann’s. Looks like I know what to ask for each birthday and Christmas.