Or, The Year of No Baths.
Well, we officially had our worst Christmas ever…so far. More on that later...maybe.
But then along came New Year’s Day! So, what I would like to say, along with the rest of the blog world is
“Let’s Hear It for New Starts!”
“Yay for Change!”
and
“Just because your one-year-old breaks his arm on Wednesday morning (during holiday "week") and you don’t take him to the doctor for several days even though your gut said his arm REALLY WAS broken doesn’t mean you can’t take him to urgent care on a holiday weekend when your gut is talking so loud it drowns out your husband’s reassurances that he’s just fine and getting better.”
I love new years! (Even New Years Day in an urgent care center.) I also love new months, weeks, and days. It’s just so nice to refocus, change, and accomplish things. Resolutions? Yes, please! I embrace yearly, quarterly, monthly, weekly (to-do list style), daily, and, on rare occasion, hourly resolutions. It’s a bit of a compulsion, really.
Among other goals, I have decided that from now on, my gut is in charge around here. No head, no heart. Just gut. (Don’t worry, the other goals are more specific, measurable, etc….)
The Incident: Baby Sr. falls from kitchen chair.
(If I had a nickel for every time someone has said something like “He’s a boy; boys do that,” I’d be able to buy E and myself an ice cream cone each time I go to San-D’s Children’s Hospital. I’m pretty certain “this” could happen to anyone.)
He was sitting so nicely on that kitchen chair while watching Dad’s digital picture frame. Who knows how long he would have continued watching those photos. It was put to a stop when we announced it was time to go (we were headed out to run important errands, like haircuts). It seems E forgot that he was in a chair and instead went to get up, sticking his hand out/down to the side and toppling off the side of the chair.
Does the red cast seem a bit excessive to you? Up to his armpit/shoulder? But they told us at the hospital that no matter where the brake was on his arm/hand/finger, they would cast it up to his shoulder because he’s a little one. They do this so they won’t be able to get the cast off.
That’s the working title anyway.
I always try to get B to play “what if” games with me in the car (“what countries would you most/least like to travel to, in order” “what would you change your name to if you could/had to” etc.) and this is the ONLY one I’ve come up with that he plays with enthusiasm.
Here’s the gist:
The crew shows up at your house at 8:00 Saturday morning to give you the news that [SURPRISE!] you are on The Game Show of Buying Everything You Can! From 8:00-9:00 you get ready to go (eat breakfast, charge cell phone, arrange babysitter, create plan of attack, whatever) and they explain the show:
Basically, you have unlimited funds from 9am till 5pm to buy anything and everything you want to*.
*There are rules, including the following:
• No investments (mutual funds, rental property, etc.)
• No gifts or charity giving
• No online shopping
• You and your “purchasing partner” must both be present at each checkout (although you can split up in the store/be at different stores—just be together when you actually buy, or there’s no money)
• You may not resell the items you buy (so, no buying every car at the dealership to create your own dealership. Somehow the show knows if you sell any of this stuff over the next 25 years and you will be responsible for paying all the money back to them)
As you race around town, car lot, and department store, you are being trailed by a film crew, and the edited account of your spending spree is what makes up the show (with a little running ticker at the bottom of the screen showing how much time is left and how many thousands of dollars you’ve spent so far).
When we plan for our turn as contestants on this show, inevitably, Brett will say once or twice that this show could never happen. It’s just too much money. I disagree. The nice thing about this show is that, other than footing the bill for a blank check to one couple per week, there are no other costs. But, in case he’s right, I’ve come up with a little twist.
Each episode will be a two-part-er. The first part was explained above. The second part shows a week later, when the couple has to randomly pick the percentage of their purchases (based on price) they get to keep. 10%, 20%, etc. on up to 100%. They “draw” a percentage. Then, we watch them decide which of their purchases to get rid of or keep in order to get their spending down to just 10% (or whatever they drew) of their total spree spending. If they draw the 100%, then I don’t know what happens for the rest of that show’s hour.
There is also the potential of a follow-up show documenting the struggle to make ends meet of the couples who purchased a too-big house (that they couldn’t afford to pay the insurance and taxes on, let alone furnish, but tried to anyway), or too many fancy cars (and can’t afford the insurance or the maintenance or the garage space). They should have thought this through better…
We won’t be making those mistakes; we have been working on our plan as we drive around. When they show up at our door, we will be ready.
But, seriously, I’d like to pitch this to someone. Now that DWTS has gotten itself banned from our home by B (and after its best season yet!), I’m looking for another guilty [not real guilt] pleasure [not real pleasure either]. Seriously, can I have DWTS back?
