We have good friends here in our ward who, until recently, were known as the Beers*. One Sunday, without warning, they announced at church that they were now the Bakers*.
What did I think of this? Well, at first I thought NOTHING of it. That’s right, nothing. If they want to be called the Bakers, fine. I don’t think it’s odd that they changed their name at all. Some have regarded their decision to change with wonder, shock, curiosity… How weird. I just don’t see the big deal. What’s in a name? Names aren’t permanent, personality-forming, or soul-housing mechanisms—first or last. If you want to change your name, by all means do it. I wholly support name changes, because I am, as I’ve since been labeled, completely unsentimental. Folks, names are arbitrary.
But, as the weeks have passed, I have come to be convinced that we could benefit from a name change. Tuley, is simply, way, way, way, too far back. It bugs me. I thought “T” was somewhere in the middle. I’m fine with that, I think. Turns out though that “T” is actually at the END of the alphabet, and “Tu” is at the very end. I discovered this on church lists. When a roll was passed through Sunday School, I would flip to a middle page, about where my maiden name would be. Isn’t “T” close? Not this page. Turn to the next. What? The next? You’ve got to be kidding. It’s on the last page, with maybe 10 others (out of a couple hundred—maybe more). And in a church setting, one of those 10 is guaranteed to be “Young.” Not so, in the regular world. “Tu” is even further back for the typical class list, elementary school “line up”, will-call ticket booth, etc. It bugs. And I feel it’s a disadvantage. So, what’s holding us back from changing it, I ask!!! Nothing except my ubersentamental husband, B.
I am completely serious that we should move up in the line. You really CAN choose your name, so why not change it to “Abbott.” (You see, I don’t mess around.) B thought I was joking around and put forth his suggestion to add a “silent ‘A’ to Tuley”—Atuley. Then he realized I was serious about the Abbott thing. Suffice it to say that we will not be signing our 2011 Christmas cards “With Love, The Abbotts.”
I’ve since come up with a name that he says is a million times better and that he is a million times more likely to switch to, but he still says no. I’m wishing I hadn’t changed my name when I got married. Our kids would have had my name in the hospital (Baby N instead of Baby Tuley) and filling out a birth certificate would have necessitated a compromise resulting in a fabulous last name that would have met all our needs and wants! Plus it would have been a name change for the both of us, rather than just me, which would be much more fair and make far more sense. If the Lord sees fit to bless us with daughters, I will counsel them to be more shrewd than I was when I got married. I guess I now know that names are less arbitrary than I thought they were back when I couldn’t care less what mine changed to.
*Names have been changed…again.
